how to interview your kid so he listens

by - January 25, 2024

 Best Tips How To Interview Your Kid So He Listens

Parenting requires a new way of thinking about interaction with children, the true measure of successful parenting is evaluating their relationships with their children.

Some parents by mistake measure success by how children listen to their orders and follow directions.

Relationships are built in the small moments, while criticism produces immediate compliance, it will produce resentment with long-term.

To improve your relationship with your children you need to know some tips like:

  • Understanding the children’s need A helpful acronym is H.A.L.T. Is your child Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? (Or sometimes all four?!) Understanding their needs positions us to help our children get their needs met in appropriate ways by a) checking with them to make sure you are on target, you can train on it by asking your children if they need a snack?! 

  • Understanding the reason for your children's behavior there are two reasons for children's behavior: access or avoidance to know the actual reason you should think about what happened before the behavior. 

  • The most efficient way to build connection with your children is talking about emotions, you mist train your children on talking about their emotions in the beginning it will be difficult but by training it will be easier, so that way will strengthen the relationship between you and your children. 

How do you train your child to listen to you?

If you have a small cycle while you are talking with your children from repeating and reminding you should know how to train your child to listen to you, but before you train your child you must know why he isn't respond your talking his lack of response is a symptom, not the actual problem.

As a large language model, I don't have children myself, so I can't offer firsthand experience on training them to listen. However, I can share some general tips based on research and common advice from parenting experts:

Building strong relationships and communication:

Positive reinforcement: Focus on praising your child when they do listen to you. These could be simple expressions like "thank you for listening" or "I appreciate you following my instructions."

Spend quality time together: This can help strengthen your bond and establish trust, making them more receptive to your words.

Practice active listening: Show your child that you're listening to them by making eye contact, putting away distractions, and asking clarifying questions. This will encourage them to reciprocate the behavior.

Setting clear expectations and boundaries

Use simple and direct language: Avoid using confusing language or long sentences. Be clear about what you expect of them.

Give specific instructions: Don't just say "clean your room." Instead, break it down into smaller, actionable steps, like "put your toys away, make your bed, and vacuum the floor."

Be consistent: Enforce your rules and expectations consistently, even when it's inconvenient. This will help your child understand that your words matter.

Addressing misbehavior

Stay calm and avoid yelling: Yelling can escalate the situation and make it harder for your child to listen. Stay calm and speak in a firm but gentle voice.

Explain the consequences: Let your child know what will happen if they don't listen. This could be a natural consequence, like not being able to play outside, or a time-out.

Follow through on consequences: It's important to follow through on the consequences you set, even if it's uncomfortable. This will help your child learn that your words have meaning.

Get down to their level: Make eye contact and kneel down so you're at their level. This can help them feel more engaged and receptive to what you're saying.

*Use natural prompts: Instead of just saying "stop doing that," try saying "let's do this instead" and offer a more desirable alternative.

Model good listening: Show your child by example how to listen to others. When they're talking, put away your phone, make eye contact, and ask questions to show you're engaged. 

Read also about what is the best fictional family? 

How do you respond to a child who doesn't listen

You should assign the calm and positive approach by get on their level, physically you must low your level to the level of you  child and make eye contact this help establish connection and taking them seriously, you should speak calmly and softly and avoid yelling or raising voice, use I statements instead of YOU Statements, you should offer choices instead of giving direct commands, you should offer natural consequences of not listening. 

You must take the way of empathy and understanding, you should consider the reasons for not listening and validate their feelings then, you should focus on positive reinforcement. 

How do I get my child to listen without yelling?

It's completely understandable to want to avoid yelling and establish a more positive connection with your child. Here are some strategies to get them to listen without resorting to raised voices:


Set clear expectations:  Before issuing instructions, explain what you need them to do and why it's important.  This helps them understand the context and makes them more likely to cooperate.

Maintain consistent routines: Routine builds predictability and reduces surprises that can trigger meltdowns Having regular time for meals, playtime, and bedtime helps children know what to expect and makes them more receptive to instructions.

Minimize distractions: When giving instructions, turn off the TV, put away your phone, and make eye contact. This ensures their full attention and reduces the chance of them tuning you out.

Offer choices: Instead of giving direct commands, offer two reasonable choices within appropriate limits. For example, "Do you want to wear your blue or green shirt today?" This gives them a sense of control and makes them more likely to comply.

Alternatives to Yelling

Speak calmly and firmly: Use a low, but firm tone that conveys seriousness without aggression. This communicates your expectations while remaining approachable.

Use natural consequences: Let them experience the natural consequences of not listening. If they forget their jacket and get cold, point out the connection without blaming them. This teaches them through experience without anger.

Offer positive reinforcement: Catch them being good and praise them for listening and following instructions. This encourages them to repeat the desired behavior and strengthens the positive relationship.

Take a break: If things are escalating, take a short break before addressing the issue further. Stepping away will give you both time to calm down and approach the situation more constructively.

Remember, building positive communication takes time and patience. Be consistent with these strategies, show empathy and understanding, and avoid resorting to yelling. You'll gradually establish a better connection with your child and see an improvement in their listening behavior.

Should I punish my child for not listening? 

Instead of punishment, consider a positive and proactive approach that can help your child to listen and learn. You should understand why by Exploring the reason behind their non-listening, Emphasize positive communication, Set clear expectations.

What are the 7 ways to discipline a child 

It's important to understand that while there are various approaches to guiding children's behavior, the term "discipline" often carries connotations of punishment, which can be counterproductive and even harmful. Instead of focusing on punitive measures, it's more effective to consider positive and proactive approaches that promote learning, self-regulation, and healthy child development.

  1. Set clear expectations and boundaries. 

  2. Practice active listening and empathy. 

  3. Offer choices and encourage decision-making. 

  4. Focus on natural consequences. 

  5. Use positive reinforcement and praise. 

  6. Implement time-outs effectively. 

  7. Build a strong and supportive relationship. 

How do I stop hitting my child

It's fantastic that you're taking the initiative to address hitting your child. Recognizing the need for improvement and seeking help is the first step towards positive change. Remember, violence is never the answer, and hitting is harmful to both you and your child. It can damage their physical and emotional well-being, and it can strain your relationship.

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